"why do you only show half your face in snapchats?!"
hell yeah i’m a catholic i’ve been addicted to cats my whole life
this is the exact opposite of a problem
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
when you make a joke and everyone laughs
when someone makes a joke about one of ur insecurities
[job interviewer voice] we found naked pictures of you during a quick google search for your name and we wish to inform you…… that your bod is slammin’ 10/10 you’re hired see you monday